Properly Awry

British people are really fucking funny.

Because we don’t waste enough time watching TV, we recently signed up at Zip.ca to receive rental DVD’s by mail. Just think: You can have the joy of watching The Facts of Life Seasons One and Two, without the painful stupidity of paying to own it.
For some reason the powers that be have not built any video stores within a convenient distance from my new house, and said powers are also causing Shaw Video On Demand to constantly be unavailable whenever I feel like I might want to watch a movie. As a result, I looked into joining a DVD by mail service and chose Zip.ca. They have over 50,000 titles available and my first 2 DVD’s arrived the day after I signed up. Granted, the first 2 DVD’s available on our list were The Muppet Show Season One and some Dr. Who movie, both choices made by my husband.
Time will tell if the fast service continues, and I am sure that sometimes we’ll be disappointed in which DVD shows up, but for now we have found yet another way to waste time and avoid painting the house.

The rain has started. The leaves are falling. The countdown is on.
The new Fall Season is about to start - it can rain till the cows come home, it can rain cats and dogs, I’m happy as a clam so long as our cable doesn’t go out.

Early starters, such as Bones, have already got me hooked though I wasn’t a regular viewer last season. Rescue Me rocks. I have given new shows Justice and Vanished a try - the former is okay, if a little overproduced, the latter is dull, and I feel sorry for anyone who invests too much time in it, because I doubt it will be around long enough for viewers to get any resolution/satisfaction to the serial story-line.

Still waiting for:
Grey’s Anatomy - McDreamy or McVet? If Izzie is back (she is) can we also have some flashbacks of Denny (murdering bastard writers)?
Veronica Mars - Veronica is off to college for some more Nancy Drew-like adventures. Please tune in so she is not cancelled. It’s a really good show.
Smallville & Supernatural - Will have competition and force me to make life altering decisions since Grey’s is also on Thursdays this year. Hopefully Space will continue to rebroadcast on Friday nights.

A quick fun read with likable characters.  This is found in the Romance section (a section I do not go to when looking for something to read) because it is categorized by the publisher as a “paranormal romance”.  When did “paranormal romance” become an actual category of books?  The “romance” (aka: sex) in this particular book feels a little amateurish and forced.  I would prefer the scenes be whittled down and faded out and left to the imagination, which would allow the book to be in the regular fiction section of the bookstore, and categorized as something more truthful: paranormal chick lit. 

Aside from the fact that he’s an awesome actor and director, he hates George Bush and doesn’t shy away from it or mince words. Anyone who calls ol’ Georgie Beelzebub is okay in my book.

Sean Penn plugs Toronto festival film, rails against Bush administration

Posted on Wed Sep 13 06:23:28 2006 by presidio9
Actor Sean Penn wasted little time unleashing his volatile political views upon a Toronto International Film Festival news conference Sunday, calling U.S. President George W. Bush "a Beelzebub - and a dumb one."
Sporting a moustache and a severe expression and lighting up a cigarette that no one dared say wasn't allowed, Penn was part of a panel promoting "All the King's Men," a story of a well-meaning politician who is eventually corrupted by power and money.
"One could make the argument that George Bush is a good politician," he said sarcastically. "I think the issue is how you define politician. Once upon a time, politics was the organization of things to benefit the people."
When asked by a reporter - who apparently missed the irony in the actor's words - to explain his describing Bush as a good politician, Penn said the definition has changed, just like the definition of good actor is now "contest winner."
"So that's the level of politician I think he's good at. So out of context, he's Beelzebub - and a dumb one."
Penn has been an outspoken critic of Bush and the war on terror, writing an open letter to the president in 2002 and even making a high-profile visit to Iraq for which he incurred accusations that he was unpatriotic.

Lippman is a good writer who keeps the reader interested and involved.  However, in this case I found the denouement rather lacklustre, as the build up had me anticipating something far more sinister than the actual outcome. 

I can go a few years between reading Kellerman’s books, as the main character and his detective friend are clear, familiar characters that are uncomplicated enough, so even if you miss a novel, you won’t be missing much and can be up to speed after a few chapters.  This book (the 19th in the series) is so convoluted and full of “twists” that it all ends up in a predictable knot. 

U2 and Pearl Jam performing at the same concert? Only if you live in a land far, far away, or in my imagination.
And after a long music video drought, Pearl Jam has done a totally fucked up video for Life Wasted. Eddie, I understand you don’t like hoopla and the press and all that jazz, but did you have to release a video displaying your head in various forms of grotesquenes?

After I read Melissa Bank’s first book , The Girls’ Guide to Hunting and Fishing, a few years ago, I added Ms. Bank to my list of authors to watch for.  Her second book, The Wonder Spot, lives up to her first and is a satisfying read.  I rarely read straight, plain ‘ol fiction, but writers like Melissa Bank give me hope that maybe there is some good, unpretentious stuff out there.

Rachel snorts.
Ivy snickers.
Jenks gets big.
The good guys win.

We, 14 others, 6 dogs, and a baby spent the Canada Day long weekend at Rancho Relaxo on Pender Island.  There was much consumption of booze, food, and fun had by all. 

Had I realized that this is the first in what will be a trilogy of books, I most likely would have put it down and made a note in my booklist to look for the whole trilogy in a few years. Alas, when the nice girls at Coles proffered this and a few other novels they thought were up my alley, I took them up on it without much thought. That being said, the book is good, the writing is good, and my only regret is that the other 2 novels for this trilogy do not yet exist.
Oh well, I guess I have to make note to check again in a year or so for book 2.

We just finished watching Black Books Series One again last night.  It is a truly hilarious BBC series that doesn’t fall into the lowbrow category of humour (i.e.: Little Britain, which is funny, but quite lowbrow most of the time).  I can now only sit and wait for Series 2 and 3 to be available in North America, though they have been available in the UK for a couple of years already. 

The fact that I have now read all of the current (paperback) books in this series must mean I decided I like it. Sookie’s world is a much easier, light-hearted, relatable read than many other alternaworld novels. Anita Blake’s world has become so twisted, dark, and occasionally deprived that the average reader cannot related to any portion of her life any more, and while I quite like the Rachel Morgan series, it too, is a bit out there sometimes, what with the fairies and elves and things. Not that I think books are only good if they are relatable, I mean, these are meant to be “fantasy” (for lack of a better word) novels. I find that Sookie’s world contains that extra something that Buffy’s world had: the idea that all these otherworldly beings are out there among us, and in the shadows, but “normal” humans choose not to see them or acknowledge them. I like thinking that maybe, at night, roaming around my neighbourhood is a friendly vampire or two.

Ah, the stupidity of political correctness and sensors.
This week’s Entertainment Weekly reports that the MPAA rejected the original poster (left) for the docudrama The Road to Guantanamo due to its depiction of “apparent torture”, but the poster on the right has been deemed acceptable. I guess it’s because the left poster gives the impression of torture, but the one on the right leaves room for the imagination - because we all know that a movie about Guantanamo detainees would certainly have a poster of a person handcuffed voluntarily, perhaps even in the throes of passion.

Desperation, the latest adaptation of Stephen King’s work, aired earlier this week. I had high hopes, my husband did not. King had previously hailed this tele-movie as the best adaptation of his work to date. This proved to be very untrue. Maybe scene-wise and character-wise the adaptation was good and true to the original text, but King needs to learn that network television cannot capture the essence of his work. Network television, what with its commercials, limited budget, bad special effects, bad child actors, nameless directors, and sensors cannot compete with a true theatre movie, or even with HBO. The creepiness just does not come across in the right way, there is no tension, or if some has slowly built up it is then interrupted by a commercial break for iTunes and maxi-pads. I would prefer to leave it all in my imagination than have half-assed adaptations fail and give King and his work a bad name.
For some good movies try:
Stand By Me, The Green Mile, Dolores Claiborne (though not at all true to the novel), The Shining (original, though again not true to the book), Apt Pupil.

Went to a matinee today, filled with squeaking children, stoners, dorks, and for some reason a very large over-40 couple (I suppose in this case my husband and I fall into the dork category).  Firstly, children should have their own soundproof area in every theatre so the rest of the audience is not disturbed by them, please urge your local government to enforce this as law.  As for the movie, it was good, but not as good as the previous two.  I have a particular love for Wolverine and liked his story-line, however, though Halle Berry babbled about the fact that Storm would grow and we would see and hear more from her in this movie, it wasn’t really true.  She had more lines and a bit more action and better hair, but the character did not grow.  My hope is that this is not the last we’ll see of the X-Men as a group (we already know there are a few upcoming spin-offs i.e.: Wolverine), as this third installment doesn’t meet the requirements to close the book on the series.   

Dear Eddie Vedder,
c/o Pearl Jam Tour

I am just dropping a note to point out that somehow your current Tour has missed scheduling any dates for Vancouver. In fact most Canadian cities have been missed. I assume this must be a temporary oversight by your schedulers. I know you were kind enough to give us our very own Canadian tour last year and I have a lovely red PJ Canada hoodie to prove it. Each time you play Vancouver you let us know that we are one of the best crowds to play for. With the arrival of your new album your Vancouver fans eagerly await your Tour.
Yes, I know a truly dedicated fan would likely stop complaining and just hop on over to one of the Seattle shows. However, due to your President, his politics, his reign of terror on his own people, and snotty American border guards who want to know why you are going away for the weekend without your husband, some of us would really prefer to stay on our side of the border, even if Stephen Harper (pardon me while I gag) is our current PM.

Yours Sincerely,
A dedicated PJ Fan 
(even if I have only seen you in Vancouver)

Dear Entertainment Tonight,

For the past 2 weeks you have peppered each evening’s show with snippets of footage of your “interview” of Amy Fisher, Joey Buttafuoco and his ex-wife Mary Jo. For the love of all things unholy, please stop.
These people are not entertainers. They did not knock-up or knock-off Britney Spears. I do not tune into them each week, I do not pay to seem them on the big screen. These facts alone should signify to you that these people do not belong on Entertainment Tonight. They belong behind closed doors away from the public eye and certainly away from cameras, because really, no one wants to watch a greasy bug-eyed fat guy argue with two women he had a part in ruining. So, unless one of them gobbles up Nicole Richie cause really, no one wants to watch a greasy bug-eyed fat guy argue with two women he had a part in ruining. So, unless one of them gobbles up Nicole Richie or Lindsay Lohan for a light afternoon snack, please stop wasting my time blathering on about them.

No, it’s not Wolf Creek or Zombie Honeymoon - though I did watch both recently and was sorely disappointed. The scariest most disturbing movie I’ve seen recently is Shopgirl. I read the book when it came out and have to say it’s not memorable by any means - so much so that no recollections of the book were triggered as I watched the movie. The movie is boring and melodramatic and drags on and on. Watching Steve Martin touch and kiss Claire Danes is just plain wrong. He doesn’t look like a creepy pedophile and Claire Danes doesn’t appear to be childlike, but it still seems very very wrong and just plain uncomfortable to watch them have sex. To see Claire Danes laid out flat and naked for Steve Martin’s eyes. This is not a movie that purposely aims to creep you out by some “forbidden love” sort of relationship. It tries to be serious and falls flat because Danes and Martin have no chemistry. In fact, Danes and Jason Schwartzman also have no chemistry in their scenes but at least his character was mildly amusing and interesting. Claire Danes is better watched with Jordan Catalano or Romeo. Save the rental fee and pick something else.

If Izzy found out that when Denny is not in the hospital he’s out leading an alternate life as a Hunter would she still be pining over him?? She thinks he’s all sweet and caring and maybe he is, but he also is a ruthless killer of the supernatural, which is sure to make her a bit queasy. Also, he has 2 sons that are closer to her own age and who are hot, alas, they too are Hunters. I guess she’ll have to go back to Alex.

So, I gave in and bought a book Stephen King said was great and was truly disappointed by it. The Mad Cook of Pymatuning by Christopher Lehmann-Haupt is described on the publisher’s website as a “no-holds-barred story of terror” and “a wicked, suspenseful, and deeply original tale”, this description combined with King’s recommendation convinced me to buy it (in hardcover even, though I did have a giftcard burning a hole in my purse). The book drags on, is not suspenseful by any sense of the word, and certainly the word terror does not apply. I expected a higher-brow Richard Laymon style of horror - blood, guts, and the sense of what the fuck else could happen to these poor saps - but instead was ripped off. This book does not have “undertones reminiscent of Lord of the Flies” - Lord is a far superior book and if you are at the store holding a hardcover copy of Mad Cook in your hands, put it down and pick up a nice cheap softcover copy of Lord of the Flies instead.

If you happen to be an enormous dork like me, you will certainly appreciate cataloguing programs, such a Delicious Monster’s Delicious Library.  The newest release 1.6.1 is pretty awesome, and if you are lucky enough to have the new MacBook Pro, the built in camera actually works as a scanner to import all your books, cd’s, movies, and games.  With our last Mac I painstakingly input all the book data manually by typing in each ISBN because I thought spending $200 on a wireless barcode scanner was too dorky even for me.  Unfortunately our Mini Mac then kicked it and all my work was lost.  I am now taking the time to get all the data back in there and am very happy the the webcam on the MacBook actually scans the barcodes (about 85% of the time) and  I can take the MacBook into my library without having to remove books from shelves, transport them to another room and return them.  The newest release also syncs with your iPod.  A silly person asked me why on earth I would need that information on my iPod - Answer: As a collector I often forget items I already have and this results in duplication, also, if my house burned down everything would be gone, including the computer containing all the data for insurance purposes but my iPod is always with me.  There are other similar programs out there and if you use a PC then you are stuck with one of the other programs as Delicious Library is only for Macs.  At only US$40 this is a great program not only if you are simply a dork and need to catalogue your library, but also if you want to keep track of cd’s, movies and games for insurance purposes.