Properly Awry

My thoughts, upon flying over Nevada for the first time, my mouth agape.

mono-chromatic
desolate
flat

Flat unending dullness.  It seemed like perhaps the Apocalypse had occurred while we were in the air, and as we got nearer the ground I was seeing the effects of a horrible fire or explosion.

Now I understand the reason behind the craziness of the huge hotels, fake pyramids, Eiffel Towers, circus tents.  If not for Las Vegas, the people of Nevada would likely go insane due to the lack of colour, animation, variance, in their general surroundings.  The madness of the Strip counterbalances the tedium of the desert. 

I am lucky to live in a place that is surrounded by colour year round, that has mountains, lakes, trees, the ocean.  I have seen beauty in the desert of Nevada, in the Australian outback, but nothing compares to the beauty of home.

So, I just got back from Vegas.
My first time there, just a girls' trip, no husbands or kids.
So, what did we do?
We drove to the indoor gun range and shot us some guns of course.

The Gun Store:

For our customer's health and safety, we provide Lead Free Ammo!

The Ladies Package got us 20 rounds with a Glock 9mm, 10 rounds with either an AR-15 or a Beretta cx4, a t-shirt of our choice, and our bullet-ridden targets.
I shot the Glock first, followed by the Beretta.
I was a little afraid to shoot the Glock, but wanted to try it, to hold it.  So many characters I read and love shoot Glocks.  It was surreal, the bullets are so small, that I thought I was completely missing the target.  When I finished my 20 shots, I put the gun down and said "that didn't seem real".  The gun guy asked what I meant.  I said "It didn't feel real, it felt like I could've been shooting blanks."  He assured me I was shooting real bullets and then reeled in the target, yup, 20 little holes in the target, just not necessarily where I was aiming to hit.
It did not feel real.  It did not feel like what I had just done could've killed someone, or more than one someone.  I could see how kids/youth, whatever you want to call them might not take it seriously.  Aside from my nerves, it did not seem any different than shooting in a video game. 

The Beretta was a bit different, I almost didn't even want to pick it up, and I even thought that if I got through the first few bullets, I might still freak out and not be able to finish.  It was certainly scarier than the Glock, and had a bit more of a punch to it.  It's touching your shoulder and your cheek, so it seems more personal.  But it also has the little red laser aiming dot, so it seems easier.  10/10 bullets hit the target.

Would I ever own a gun?  Not unless we were under siege, or living in a post-apocalyptic world of zombies or Mad Max wannabes.  Would I shoot one again?  Hell yeah, in a safe environment.

Those of you who have children and are interested in showing them how to kill things will be glad to know that the Gun Store has a Kids Package that allows your child to shoot a Ruger Mark III .22 and a
Semi-Auto .22 Rifle with 20 rounds each, they also get a t-shirt or a gift bag!  We asked minimum age requirement for the Kids Package and were told they usually don't allow anyone under 7, but it's based more on size than age, so if you have a large 5 year old.....

After catching a couple of episodes of Season 2 of Sons of Anarchy, I went out and bought the Season 1 DVD's so I could start from the beginning.  Normally I don't like to go backwards, but in this case I made an exception and am glad I did.

Amidst the blood, guns, sex, and drugs is heart.  These people are into some pretty bad shit, but the viewer roots for them, because we can see the club truly cares for one another, and for those around them and will go to any lengths to protect them and theirs. 

The dialogue doesn't give me the same thrill as that in Justified, but the acting is probably the best that's been on TV in a long time.  It is a rare show that has 3 strong powerful leads surrounded by equally powerful supporting actors, and they all make it look effortless.  They all bring a truth to the heart of it all.  Seeing these tough bikers break down tears your heart out.  For me, it also reminds me of my childhood and my dad's friends.  I see the truth, I know that these tough people, who many might fear purely based on leather and tattoos, can be more of a family than blood relatives, that they take brotherhood seriously, that family means something.

I am reminded of the jeans and leather and tears at my father's funeral.  I am reminded that perhaps I am lucky, to have been raised to not judge a book by its cover, to have seen that these scary bikers are people with families and friends, and that there's nothing wrong with wearing jeans and a leather vest rather than a suit and tie every day.  I know I'd rather wear jeans than skirts and blouses and goddamn high heels.

It seems there is a shift in the wind, something coming, on the horizon (little people converging marching toward us, over the mountain).  Friends are talking about having kids, trying to have kids, babies, babies, babies.  I know my mind has certainly shifted from where it was 3 years ago.  I still see both perspectives, on one hand I see the world is not a nice place, I see technology, the school system, the class system, and how it is different than when we were kids, how it seems like society is a festering wound that children grow up in.  They are defenseless, and so many of them out there right now are such spoiled assholes.  Part of me, the part that devours post-apocalyptic fiction, sees the end of the world, and thinks what's the point, really?

But then, then I see my nephews, or my friends' kids, and they do something good, or say something sweet; and yeah, they probably cry at some point too, but so far, they are all so good, with their different backgrounds and different parents, so far, none of them is a totally spoiled asshole. 
And that must mean, that if you are good and loving parent(s), and surround your kids with good and loving, and laughing people, and expose them to things other than TV and video games, it must mean that even in this festering society, we will be able to bring good people into this world.  It must mean that good people like us and our friends should bring good people into this world, otherwise there will be no one to counteract the upcoming assholes. 

Okay, he's not a sheriff, he's a US Marshal, but you get my drift.
I just finished watching the Season Finale of Justified.  
Here is a TV show with fantastic dialogue that is not dumbed down.  Here is a hero who is not hard on the eyes, who is not perfect, and who uses actual grown-up words and dialogue.

You gonna bob and weave out of the path of a bullet? Cause that I'd like to see.

Timothy Olyphant (Raylan Givens in the show,  and who for me, was previously pretty much the dude from Scream 2) is made for this role and pulls it off perfectly.  The smart dialogue rolls off his tongue, often while he has a look of amused disbelief on his face. 

The show takes place in Kentucky and the characters ooze with, not southern charm, but with a southern ease and (I don't think it's charming to answer the door with some sort of gun in your hand, and characters on this show seem to make a point of doing so).  Lots of crazy shit happens in season 1, but the pace of the show is a nice southern calmness regardless of what's happening (shoot-outs, kidnapping, explosions, mass murder), and it's refreshing to not have to endure a frenetic MTV sensory overload. 

I am a TV addict and I watch lots of stupid shows purely for entertainment, sometimes due to the charm of an actor (Castle anyone?), but even with some of the good shows I watch, it's rare to get good, believable, intelligent dialogue.  I crave it.  Justified has it.
Now I have to site back and wait for season 2.

Raylan: I can only imagine how hard it has been for you to get where you are in the Marshal service
Rachel: Because I'm black or because I'm a woman?
Raylan: Because you're an idiot. 

...

Raylan: Why can't you bail him out?
Helen: Those are the first words out of your mouth?
Raylan: I'm sorry, I'll start again. I see you're still smoking

...

Art Mullen: Just what part of being under investigation confuses you, Raylan?
Raylan: So many things confuse me, Art.
Art Mullen: Do you think we're going to banter here? Cause we're not.

...

Raylan: I figure everyone is entitled to their hobbies and I'm entitled to think those people are creepy.

So yesterday, when I heard Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail followed by 90 days in rehab I laughed.  What does she expect?  If you act like a crack-whore, you get treated like a crack-whore.  If she wasn't famous she would have already been sentenced to some time behind bars.  Finally she is being treated just like any other person would be, given the circumstances.

That was yesterday.  That was before the media zoomed in on her nail polish to show the "fuck u" on her middle finger.  Now they are saying that this fuck you is likely to get her thrown in jail for contempt of court.
I'm sorry judicial system but you can't have it both ways.  She's either treated like a regular person or a celebrity.  If she's treated like a regular person, then the "fuck u" doesn't exist because there would not have been a paparazzi there to zoom in on her fingers and tattle tale to the media and report back to the judge.  Unless the judge has some sort of super vision, there's no way she saw this on her nails.
So, treat her like a regular joe, give her the original sentence and pretend the finger nail fiasco didn't happen, because if she were just some regular crack whore, there's no way anyone would have given her nail polish a second look.

I am bored bored.
I need a hobby and I can't think of anything.
By hobby, I mean something that I find somewhat enjoyable, but not completely unproductive, since unproductivity is currently my past-time. 

Things that don't count:

• Reading - I already do that for at least 1.5 hours a day on my commute, more if the book I'm reading is really good, or I'm really bored
• Baking - I'm good at it but I'm already fat and my husband, though he likes my baking, isn't super keen on sweets,  I'm not good enough at it to sell my wares
• Watching tv or movies - I do this entirely too much already, and really, should this be considered a hobby or just laziness?
• Home renos/interior design - something I do on and off on a fairly regular basis.  If I had minions and millions, my house would be in constant design mode, alas I do not have minions or millions, and the projects I have on the go are work, not hobby.

Things that could be possibilities but I have discounted for one reason or another:

• Sewing - My talent seems to be only curtains, tablecloths and placemats (read: nice tidy square items), at various points in my life I have tried and failed at clothing or other non-square items.  I would love to be able to sew because I love fabric, sometimes I obsess over fabric, but how many curtains does one house need?
• Crochet - tried this last year and failed miserably, I made exactly 1 "bookmark"
• Knitting - see crochet failure above
• Pottery - tried in my youth, I am not good
• Drawing and/or painting - tried in my youth, even then anything I produced looked like the work of a 3 year old, I am certain I have not magically gotten better with old age
• Furniture design - if I could draw, I would draw furniture, alas, I cannot.  Also, my designs would be sad, lonely and unproduced since I certainly cannot make furniture.
• Jewelry design - see above.
• Writing (meaning fiction), I used to write, I used to be kind of good.  It seems I have no muse, or my muse gets caught up in my day to day mind/life and cannot break free.  It's like I grew up and life became real and I can't make shit up anymore.  Oh to be Peter Pan.
• Family Tree - Been there done that.  I did ours earlier this year and went as far as I could with the information available to me.  So, now all that's left is for babies to be born or people to die.
• Scrapbooking - my husband did some years ago and was far better than me, so I gave away most of my materials.  Though paper has been an obsession of mine from time to time.  I could do electronic scrapbooking and get Apple to print stuff for me.....
• Quilting - no idea how to do this, nor does my mom, though it would tie in nicely with my obsession with fabric (where are the minions when I need them?)

Things I am good at or like, but can't seem to think of how to apply towards a hobby:

• Specifics
• Databases
• Mining information
• Working with deadlines
• Books
• Dogs
• Telling others what to do / teaching others
• Theatre
• Earth-friendly products
• Spending money
• Zombies, werewolves, vampires

Things I hate or am very bad at:

• Spending loads of time outside
• Cleaning
• Meeting new people / making friends
• Small talk
• I do not have steady hands / my hands are not very dexterous
• Keeping my facial expressions in check when morons speak
• Organizing (I organize in the electronic world, but feel no need to organize actual stuff, I thrive in my organized chaos, those piles on my desk mean something to me)
• Working without deadlines, if there is no deadline for something, I tend to start and never finish, either because I discovered my suckery or just got lazy

...and after all of the above, I still have not ideas, no resolution.  It kind of makes me wish there was a government mandate or a gold star program that would force me to just pick something already.

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.  -Anonymous

Canada is the linchpin of the English-speaking world.  -Winston Churchill

Canadians were the first anti-Americans, and the best. Canadian anti-Americanism, just as the country's French-English duality, has for two centuries been the central buttress of our national identity.  -Jack Granetstein

I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind.  -John Diefenbaker From the Canadian Bill of Rights, July 1, 1960

In a world darkened by ethnic conflicts that tear nations apart, Canada stands as a model of how people of different cultures can live and work together in peace, prosperity, and mutual respect.  -Bill Clinton

There are no limits to the majestic future which lies before the mighty expanse of Canada with its virile, aspiring, cultured, and generous-hearted people.  -Winston Churchill

Vive la Canada. This country is not for sale.  -Don Sweet

We'll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us.  -Andy Barrie

When I'm in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like.  -Jane Fonda

With or without the Royals, we are not Americans. Nor are we British. Or French. Or Void. We are something else. And the sooner we define this, the better.  -Will Ferguson

There are those who say that Canadian English is a combination of British and American English. Those who say so are just a bunch of cultural wimps. Canada has its own culture and is not a sub-culture of the U.K. or the U.S. Maybe it's one of them that is the sub-culture and is using a combination of Canadian and the other's spelling, eh? The paper clip, the zipper, standard time, time zones, and United Nations peacekeepers are all Canadian innovations. There are even some Canadian words and phrases which are neither British nor American, but uniquely Canadian.  -Dave VE7CNV's Truly Canadian Dictionary of Canadian Spelling
         

Some Canadian words/term that I did not know were either completely or mainly Canadian:

• Homo Milk 
• runners
• housecoat
• deke
• eavestrough
• gaburator
• parkade
• tea towel
• washroom
• 4-piece bath
• butter tart