Properly Awry

So yesterday, when I heard Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail followed by 90 days in rehab I laughed.  What does she expect?  If you act like a crack-whore, you get treated like a crack-whore.  If she wasn't famous she would have already been sentenced to some time behind bars.  Finally she is being treated just like any other person would be, given the circumstances.

That was yesterday.  That was before the media zoomed in on her nail polish to show the "fuck u" on her middle finger.  Now they are saying that this fuck you is likely to get her thrown in jail for contempt of court.
I'm sorry judicial system but you can't have it both ways.  She's either treated like a regular person or a celebrity.  If she's treated like a regular person, then the "fuck u" doesn't exist because there would not have been a paparazzi there to zoom in on her fingers and tattle tale to the media and report back to the judge.  Unless the judge has some sort of super vision, there's no way she saw this on her nails.
So, treat her like a regular joe, give her the original sentence and pretend the finger nail fiasco didn't happen, because if she were just some regular crack whore, there's no way anyone would have given her nail polish a second look.

I am bored bored.
I need a hobby and I can't think of anything.
By hobby, I mean something that I find somewhat enjoyable, but not completely unproductive, since unproductivity is currently my past-time. 

Things that don't count:

• Reading - I already do that for at least 1.5 hours a day on my commute, more if the book I'm reading is really good, or I'm really bored
• Baking - I'm good at it but I'm already fat and my husband, though he likes my baking, isn't super keen on sweets,  I'm not good enough at it to sell my wares
• Watching tv or movies - I do this entirely too much already, and really, should this be considered a hobby or just laziness?
• Home renos/interior design - something I do on and off on a fairly regular basis.  If I had minions and millions, my house would be in constant design mode, alas I do not have minions or millions, and the projects I have on the go are work, not hobby.

Things that could be possibilities but I have discounted for one reason or another:

• Sewing - My talent seems to be only curtains, tablecloths and placemats (read: nice tidy square items), at various points in my life I have tried and failed at clothing or other non-square items.  I would love to be able to sew because I love fabric, sometimes I obsess over fabric, but how many curtains does one house need?
• Crochet - tried this last year and failed miserably, I made exactly 1 "bookmark"
• Knitting - see crochet failure above
• Pottery - tried in my youth, I am not good
• Drawing and/or painting - tried in my youth, even then anything I produced looked like the work of a 3 year old, I am certain I have not magically gotten better with old age
• Furniture design - if I could draw, I would draw furniture, alas, I cannot.  Also, my designs would be sad, lonely and unproduced since I certainly cannot make furniture.
• Jewelry design - see above.
• Writing (meaning fiction), I used to write, I used to be kind of good.  It seems I have no muse, or my muse gets caught up in my day to day mind/life and cannot break free.  It's like I grew up and life became real and I can't make shit up anymore.  Oh to be Peter Pan.
• Family Tree - Been there done that.  I did ours earlier this year and went as far as I could with the information available to me.  So, now all that's left is for babies to be born or people to die.
• Scrapbooking - my husband did some years ago and was far better than me, so I gave away most of my materials.  Though paper has been an obsession of mine from time to time.  I could do electronic scrapbooking and get Apple to print stuff for me.....
• Quilting - no idea how to do this, nor does my mom, though it would tie in nicely with my obsession with fabric (where are the minions when I need them?)

Things I am good at or like, but can't seem to think of how to apply towards a hobby:

• Specifics
• Databases
• Mining information
• Working with deadlines
• Books
• Dogs
• Telling others what to do / teaching others
• Theatre
• Earth-friendly products
• Spending money
• Zombies, werewolves, vampires

Things I hate or am very bad at:

• Spending loads of time outside
• Cleaning
• Meeting new people / making friends
• Small talk
• I do not have steady hands / my hands are not very dexterous
• Keeping my facial expressions in check when morons speak
• Organizing (I organize in the electronic world, but feel no need to organize actual stuff, I thrive in my organized chaos, those piles on my desk mean something to me)
• Working without deadlines, if there is no deadline for something, I tend to start and never finish, either because I discovered my suckery or just got lazy

...and after all of the above, I still have not ideas, no resolution.  It kind of makes me wish there was a government mandate or a gold star program that would force me to just pick something already.

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.  -Anonymous

Canada is the linchpin of the English-speaking world.  -Winston Churchill

Canadians were the first anti-Americans, and the best. Canadian anti-Americanism, just as the country's French-English duality, has for two centuries been the central buttress of our national identity.  -Jack Granetstein

I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind.  -John Diefenbaker From the Canadian Bill of Rights, July 1, 1960

In a world darkened by ethnic conflicts that tear nations apart, Canada stands as a model of how people of different cultures can live and work together in peace, prosperity, and mutual respect.  -Bill Clinton

There are no limits to the majestic future which lies before the mighty expanse of Canada with its virile, aspiring, cultured, and generous-hearted people.  -Winston Churchill

Vive la Canada. This country is not for sale.  -Don Sweet

We'll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us.  -Andy Barrie

When I'm in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like.  -Jane Fonda

With or without the Royals, we are not Americans. Nor are we British. Or French. Or Void. We are something else. And the sooner we define this, the better.  -Will Ferguson

There are those who say that Canadian English is a combination of British and American English. Those who say so are just a bunch of cultural wimps. Canada has its own culture and is not a sub-culture of the U.K. or the U.S. Maybe it's one of them that is the sub-culture and is using a combination of Canadian and the other's spelling, eh? The paper clip, the zipper, standard time, time zones, and United Nations peacekeepers are all Canadian innovations. There are even some Canadian words and phrases which are neither British nor American, but uniquely Canadian.  -Dave VE7CNV's Truly Canadian Dictionary of Canadian Spelling
         

Some Canadian words/term that I did not know were either completely or mainly Canadian:

• Homo Milk 
• runners
• housecoat
• deke
• eavestrough
• gaburator
• parkade
• tea towel
• washroom
• 4-piece bath
• butter tart

So I'm going to Vegas in a few weeks.
So it will be hot.
So I bought a swimsuit today.
I haven't bought a bathing suit in probably 3 years, and even that one I think I've worn about twice.

This would be for several reasons:
a) I am not a sun-worshipper, in I am extreme in my avoidance of the sun and the heat - perhaps in direct sunlight I sparkle like a vampire, perhaps because my skin has not seen direct sunlight in years, perhaps because not only do I burn but I also am lucky enough that I am allergic and the sun gives me a rash.
b) I do not have a swimming pool, nor does anyone I know.
c) Even the very new, very large rec centre across the street from me does not have a pool.
d) I do not want to offend or cause blindness.


That being said, knowing that most of my time in Vegas will be (hopefully) in air-conditioned environs, and knowing that the friend I am going with is a sun-worshipper, and I do love the water, I know realistically we will spend some time poolside.  Hence the new swimsuit.

It wasn't as painful as it could have been, I think I may even have bought a smaller size than my last.  I went for the look rather than the function.  I think in it I am more Marilyn Monroe than big fat monster, so that's good.
So long as I can get down to the pool and not run back up to the room to get a long-sleeved hoodie..........

(and no, that sure as hell is NOT a picture of me, but at least it's not a size 2 in the photo...)

Since I am a dork and I catalogue, track and rate every book I read but tend not to write reviews, I have added a books page that pulls data from my LibraryThing account and shows what I am currently reading as well as the last 10 books I've read what I rated them as. 

In reviewing my catalogue which has data since 1998, it appears as though I hand out 3.5 and 4 stars freely and tend to hold back on 5's, 2's and 1's.  Examples of my ratings, because I know you care:

5 - The Stand, Stephen King (apparently the only book I have given a 5 to)

4.5 - Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole  -The Passage, Justin Cronin  -Eclipse, Stephenie Meyer  -Crosscut, Meg Gardiner

4 - Shades of Grey, Jasper Fforde  -Dante Valentine series, Lilith Saintcrow  -Harper Connelly series, Charlaine Harris  -Kitty Norville series, Carrie Vaughan  -Elvis Cole series, Robert Crais  -Jack Reacher series, Lee Child,  -a whole lotta Stephen King books

3.5 - In Death series, J.D. Robb  -Heartsick, Chelsea Cain  -JPod, Douglas Coupland  -a bunch of Sookie Stackhouse books, Charlaine Harris  -most of Richard Laymon's horror novels

3 - Generation Dead, Daniel Waters  -Under the Dome, Stephen King  -Velocity, Dean Koontz  -Strangers on a Train, Patricia Highsmith

2.5 - Jimi Hendrix Turns 80, Tim Sandlin  -Ash Wednesday, Ethan Hawke

2 - The Ruins, Scott Smith  -Shopgirl, Steve Martin  -The Beach, Alex Garland  -The Silence of the Lambs, Thomas Harris

1.5 - Hannibal, Thomas Harris  -Girl, Interrupted, Susanna Kaysen

1 - Danse Macabre, Laurell K. Hamilton  -Ticktock, Dean Koontz


I notice now that though I've read many classic novels and enjoyed some of them, I've never rated any of them.  I also notice that I obviously rate with my gut and not with any specific criteria held in mind, since I finish a book and rate it before moving on to the next book.  So there, on the day I finished Eclipse I felt it was a 4.5, The Ruins seemed like a 2 and on the day I finished Laurell Hamilton's Danse Macabre it felt like a 1, which means it must have pissed me off.

Ever since I was 12 (?) and read The Stand for the first time I have loved post-apocalyptic fiction.  The world as we know it will end people, it's just a matter of when and how.
Now, I could be a doomsdayer and actually pay attention to the news and the reality of the world and the environment, but that's just so depressing.  The oil spill sucks and is horribly destructive but I put it out of my mind because it makes me so angry to begin with, and then if I hear (blank number) of animals have died, suffocated, coverd in oil, well that will just make me cry.  So, me being me, I ignore it.

Instead the great scribes of our times will tell me how it ends, how I can prepare, how I can survive in the aftermath.  I find this to be much less depressing, and depending on the novel, even exciting.

Stephen King told me to read Justin Cronin's The Passage, so I did (and just in case you're wondering, no I don't hear Uncle Stevie's voice or anything, Stephen King doesn't actually talk to me - sometimes he writes a review, or mentions something worthwhile in his Entertainment Weekly column, okay?).  The Passage is straight-up post-apocalyptic fiction and I devoured it.  I pressed the "next" button on my e-book reader 828 times over 12 days blasting my way through it (list price $32.00, online price $18, ebook price $10 = space on bookshelf zero).  I don't like to get too detailed when writing about books, so I'll say the characters and the circumstances keep the reader guessing and engrossed, and the ending is a King-like ending, meaning it's not really an ending at all, meaning there could be another book or two to follow.  Normally, I would say - hey if there's 2 more books coming, wait on this one and read them all together, but in this case I say don't wait, the book can stand on its own and it's worth it - and it's not really one of those angering cliff hanger type endings where you are totally unsatisfied with the story thus far and just feel ripped off.

So do as Uncle Stevie did and just read the damn book.
4.5 stars

My high school graduation was 15 years ago today, I'm officially old and there's no going back. 
Looking at some grad photos reminded me how much has changed - we didn't have digital cameras then, so some of the photos are either badly scanned in to the computer, or are just plain bad/out of focus.

I have a horrible memory, aside from basically not remembering any of my childhood, I don't even remember things I did or things that happened 15 years ago.  So here's a recap of 1995 events, some are sad, some are funny, some are just boring (though I omitted most of the boring stuff):

January 1 – The World Trade Organization (WTO) is established to replace the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT).
January 11 – The WB Television Network is launched.
January 16 – The United Paramount Network (UPN) is launched.
January 29 – Super Bowl XXIX: The San Francisco 49ers become the first National Football League franchise to win 5 Super Bowls, as they defeat the San Diego Chargers at Joe Robbie Stadium in Miami, Florida.

February 13 – A United Nations tribunal on human rights violations in the Balkans charges 21 Bosnian Serb commanders with genocide and crimes against humanity.
February 23 - I turn 18.

March 1 – Yahoo! is founded in Santa Clara, California.
March 6 – On an episode of The Jenny Jones Show ("Same-Sex Crushes"), Scott Amedure reveals a crush on his heterosexual friend Jonathan Schmitz. Schmitz kills Amedure several days after the show.
March 27 – The 67th Academy Awards, hosted by David Letterman, are held at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California, with Forrest Gump winning Best Picture.

April 19 – Oklahoma City bombing: 168 people, including 8 Federal Marshals and 19 children, are killed at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. Timothy McVeigh and one of his accomplices, Terry Nichols, set off the bomb.

May 11 – More than 170 countries agree to extend the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty indefinitely and without conditions.
May 22 - Blossom, TV series ends
May 23 - Full Hose, TV series ends
May 25 – Egan v. Canada: The Supreme Court of Canada rules that discrimination based on sexual orientation is prohibited under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
May 27 – In Culpeper, Virginia, actor Christopher Reeve is paralyzed from the neck down after falling from his horse in a riding competition

June 15 – During his murder trial, O.J. Simpson puts on a pair of gloves that were presumably worn by the person who murdered his ex-wife and her friend Ron Goldman.
June 16 – My friends and I all go see Batman Forever on opening night
June 17 – My high school graduation
June 24 – The New Jersey Devils sweep the heavily favored Detroit Red Wings to win their first Stanley Cup in the lock-out shortened season.

July 4 – Bob Ross, American television painter dies (b. 1942)
July 13 – Dozens of cities, most notably Chicago and Milwaukee, set all-time record high temperatures. Hundreds in these and other cities die as the Chicago Heat Wave of 1995 reaches its peak.

August 9 - Jerry Garcia dies
August 13 – Mickey Mantle, baseball player dies (b. 1931)
August 24 – Microsoft releases Windows 95.

September – The DVD, an optical disc computer storage media format, is announced.
September 19 – Orville Redenbacher, American entrepreneur and businessman dies (b. 1907)

October 3 – O. J. Simpson is found not guilty of double murder for the deaths of former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.  An estimated 150 million people watch as the not guilty verdict is read.
 October 21 – Shannon Hoon, American singer dies (b. 1967)
October 30 – Quebec independentists narrowly lose a referendum for a mandate to negotiate independence from Canada.

November 22 – The first ever full length computer animated feature film "Toy Story" was released by Pixar Animation Studios and Walt Disney Pictures.

December 25 – Dean Martin, American actor and singer dies (b. 1917)

MOVIES:
Assassins
Heat
Babe
Kids
Billy Madison,
Leaving Las Vegas
Blue in the Face
Mallrats
Braveheart
Mighty Aphrodite
The Bridges of Madison County
The Net
Casino
The Quick and the Dead
Clueless
Se7en
The Crossing Guard
Showgirls
Dangerous Minds
Smoke
Dead Man Walking
Strange Days
Desperado
Tommy Boy
Four Rooms
Twelve Monkeys
Get Shorty
The Usual Suspects
The Ghost in the Shell
Waterworld
GoldenEye


MUSIC
Record of the Year “Kiss From a Rose,” Seal
Album of the Year Jagged Little Pill, Alanis Morissette
Song of the Year “Kiss From a Rose,” Seal, songwriter
Best New Artist Hootie and the Blowfish
Best Pop Vocal Performance, Male “Kiss From a Rose,” Seal
Best Pop Vocal Performance, Female “No More `I Love You's,” Annie Lennox
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Performance “Duets II,” Frank Sinatra
Best Pop Instrumental Performance “Mariachi Suite,” Los Lobos
Best Pop Album Turbulent Indigo, Joni Mitchell (Reprise)
Best Rock Album Jagged Little Pill, Alanis Morissette
Best Rock Vocal Performance, Male “You Don't Know How It Feels,” Tom Petty
Best Rock Vocal Performance, Female “You Oughta Know,” Alanis Morissette
Best Rock Performance By a Duo or Group WVocal “Run-Around,” Blues Traveler
Best Hard Rock Performance “Spin the Black Circle,” Pearl Jam
Best Metal Performance “Happiness Is Slavery,” Nine Inch Nails
Best Alternative Music Performance MTV Unplugged in New York, Nirvana
Best Rap Album Poverty's Paradise, Naughty by Nature
Best Rap Solo Performance “Gangsta's Paradise,” Coolio

BEST SELLING BOOKS:
1. The Rainmaker, John Grisham
2. The Lost World, Michael Crichton
3. Five Days in Paris, Danielle Steel
4. The Christmas Box, Richard Paul Evans
5. Lightning, Danielle Steel
6. The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield
7. Rose Madder, Stephen King
8. Silent Night, Mary Higgins Clark
9. Politically Correct Holiday Stories, James Finn Garner
10. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans