Properly Awry

It was a nice day out so I took the dogs for a walk around the neighbourhood. Our neighbourhood is really quiet and full of dead-end streets, so of course on this lovely day I start thinking - which house is the best house for survival if there was a zombie apocalypse? Which house is the least defendable?

This is a variation of the game I play when I walk out my front door in the morning to head for work - if a zombie apocalypse happened today and all I had was what I wore to work and what's in my purse - how would I fare?
Some mornings I look down at my shoes and am like - well, I'd be fucked. Other days I'm like, yeah, I'd kick ass, but I should have worn a jacket.
Then I start wondering if I should add more apocalypse-appropriate gear to the cornucopia in my purse.
But then I think that sounds a bit crazy and if I had to go through security somewhere I'd get branded as a terrorist.

On today's walk I came to the conclusion that our current abode and location is probably one of the best in the neighbourhood to defend against zombies, but I should probably stock up on some water and extra large nails, just to be safe.

.
So, I made this today:

Capes I made for my nephews:

and proof that they work:

Obsession.  Compulsion. Fixation.

I've realized that over the past year or so, whenever I see a new colour of nail polish that I buy it.  I must have it.  Currently, one of the drawers in my coffee table contains 37 bottles of nail polish.  I'm guessing that's not normal.

Back in July I went to get a mani-pedi before my trip to Vegas, and I noted that I had more colour options at home than the salon had.  Again, I'm guessing that's not normal.

I'm also starting to wonder if changing the colour once a week (or so) and removing the polish, etc. will eventually cause me to have some sort of detrimental disease, that I am a human experiment for the nail polish industry.

Oh well, I like the pretty colours, and it's less expensive and time consuming than keeping up purple or pink or yellow hair on a regular basis.

So for now I will enjoy my Ruby Slippers, Brand New Skates, Under My Trench Coat,  In the Shadows, with Yellow Kitty.

New retro sewing desk (for only $50!) = no more hunching over the coffee table = happy me =  finished curtains and finished quilt top.





I have a few weeks to actually finish the quilt, then I have to get started on a few Christmas projects......

There's a library across the street from my house, so I finally came to my senses and went in today and got myself a library card.
[Gasp! You don't have a library card!?]

It's probably been about 10 years since I went in to a library or had a card.  I love books, so much in fact, that once I was out of school and employed, I could no longer bear to only "borrow" books, I fell into the habit of buying every book I read, of buying books on random subjects that I might've been mildly interested in.  There's also the fact that the trusty interweb made it big, so when in earlier years I might have gone to the library to research something, nowadays I can just Google it.  Case in point, we own tons of cookbooks, yet when I want a recipe for something specific I usually just find one online, I certainly don't go to the library to look it up. 
So a a test run, I checked out 3 books on quilting (yes, I know, very exciting), the lady advised me that there's a 3 month probation period for new card holders and in that 3 months I can only check out 10 items at a time, once the 3 months is up (assuming I haven't taken off with the 10 items, or racked up thousands of dollars in late fees) I will be allowed to take out up to 50 items at a time.  50 items.  I do not understand how anyone could need to check out 50 items, which are only in your possession for 21 days, all at the same time, but hey, I haven't had a library card in a while, maybe the times have changed.  The librarian also advised me that they subscribe to 3 different quilting magazines (I was unaware that you could even check out magazines), so I guess I really have no excuse to go out and spend money on reference/quilting books or magazines (she says, knowing she ordered 3 used books from abebooks.com a few days ago).  If I find a book I love or can't live without I can go buy it, otherwise the library is now my friend again.  The exception of course, is that I know I cannot "borrow" fiction from the library, fiction is still something I must possess, even if nowadays most if what I buy is in ebook format.

Postscript:  Though I was in a library, I still managed to buy a book - 75 cents for an out of print F. Paul Wilson novel to add to my collection :)

I decided my hobby, for the time being, shall be quilting.  I can do most of it in front of the TV, so I can continue to fuel my addiction whilst doing something rather than not.
In order to ensure that I actually do this and don't just spend countless hours thinking about maybe doing it, I have gone ahead and ordered fabric with the intention of making a quilt for my brother's upcoming baby. 
I have already spent hours picking fabric from Spoonflower and designing something that will look cool but should not be an overextension of my non-abilities.  I'm hoping this works out, as I love fabric and it will give me an excuse to source cool textiles and do some original design work on the quilts themselves.


When the fabric arrives, I will start on my Monster Tree quilt:


Of course, I have to get one of the 3 sewing machines I currently have in my house working first....

So, I just got back from Vegas.
My first time there, just a girls' trip, no husbands or kids.
So, what did we do?
We drove to the indoor gun range and shot us some guns of course.

The Gun Store:

For our customer's health and safety, we provide Lead Free Ammo!

The Ladies Package got us 20 rounds with a Glock 9mm, 10 rounds with either an AR-15 or a Beretta cx4, a t-shirt of our choice, and our bullet-ridden targets.
I shot the Glock first, followed by the Beretta.
I was a little afraid to shoot the Glock, but wanted to try it, to hold it.  So many characters I read and love shoot Glocks.  It was surreal, the bullets are so small, that I thought I was completely missing the target.  When I finished my 20 shots, I put the gun down and said "that didn't seem real".  The gun guy asked what I meant.  I said "It didn't feel real, it felt like I could've been shooting blanks."  He assured me I was shooting real bullets and then reeled in the target, yup, 20 little holes in the target, just not necessarily where I was aiming to hit.
It did not feel real.  It did not feel like what I had just done could've killed someone, or more than one someone.  I could see how kids/youth, whatever you want to call them might not take it seriously.  Aside from my nerves, it did not seem any different than shooting in a video game. 

The Beretta was a bit different, I almost didn't even want to pick it up, and I even thought that if I got through the first few bullets, I might still freak out and not be able to finish.  It was certainly scarier than the Glock, and had a bit more of a punch to it.  It's touching your shoulder and your cheek, so it seems more personal.  But it also has the little red laser aiming dot, so it seems easier.  10/10 bullets hit the target.

Would I ever own a gun?  Not unless we were under siege, or living in a post-apocalyptic world of zombies or Mad Max wannabes.  Would I shoot one again?  Hell yeah, in a safe environment.

Those of you who have children and are interested in showing them how to kill things will be glad to know that the Gun Store has a Kids Package that allows your child to shoot a Ruger Mark III .22 and a
Semi-Auto .22 Rifle with 20 rounds each, they also get a t-shirt or a gift bag!  We asked minimum age requirement for the Kids Package and were told they usually don't allow anyone under 7, but it's based more on size than age, so if you have a large 5 year old.....

I am bored bored.
I need a hobby and I can't think of anything.
By hobby, I mean something that I find somewhat enjoyable, but not completely unproductive, since unproductivity is currently my past-time. 

Things that don't count:

• Reading - I already do that for at least 1.5 hours a day on my commute, more if the book I'm reading is really good, or I'm really bored
• Baking - I'm good at it but I'm already fat and my husband, though he likes my baking, isn't super keen on sweets,  I'm not good enough at it to sell my wares
• Watching tv or movies - I do this entirely too much already, and really, should this be considered a hobby or just laziness?
• Home renos/interior design - something I do on and off on a fairly regular basis.  If I had minions and millions, my house would be in constant design mode, alas I do not have minions or millions, and the projects I have on the go are work, not hobby.

Things that could be possibilities but I have discounted for one reason or another:

• Sewing - My talent seems to be only curtains, tablecloths and placemats (read: nice tidy square items), at various points in my life I have tried and failed at clothing or other non-square items.  I would love to be able to sew because I love fabric, sometimes I obsess over fabric, but how many curtains does one house need?
• Crochet - tried this last year and failed miserably, I made exactly 1 "bookmark"
• Knitting - see crochet failure above
• Pottery - tried in my youth, I am not good
• Drawing and/or painting - tried in my youth, even then anything I produced looked like the work of a 3 year old, I am certain I have not magically gotten better with old age
• Furniture design - if I could draw, I would draw furniture, alas, I cannot.  Also, my designs would be sad, lonely and unproduced since I certainly cannot make furniture.
• Jewelry design - see above.
• Writing (meaning fiction), I used to write, I used to be kind of good.  It seems I have no muse, or my muse gets caught up in my day to day mind/life and cannot break free.  It's like I grew up and life became real and I can't make shit up anymore.  Oh to be Peter Pan.
• Family Tree - Been there done that.  I did ours earlier this year and went as far as I could with the information available to me.  So, now all that's left is for babies to be born or people to die.
• Scrapbooking - my husband did some years ago and was far better than me, so I gave away most of my materials.  Though paper has been an obsession of mine from time to time.  I could do electronic scrapbooking and get Apple to print stuff for me.....
• Quilting - no idea how to do this, nor does my mom, though it would tie in nicely with my obsession with fabric (where are the minions when I need them?)

Things I am good at or like, but can't seem to think of how to apply towards a hobby:

• Specifics
• Databases
• Mining information
• Working with deadlines
• Books
• Dogs
• Telling others what to do / teaching others
• Theatre
• Earth-friendly products
• Spending money
• Zombies, werewolves, vampires

Things I hate or am very bad at:

• Spending loads of time outside
• Cleaning
• Meeting new people / making friends
• Small talk
• I do not have steady hands / my hands are not very dexterous
• Keeping my facial expressions in check when morons speak
• Organizing (I organize in the electronic world, but feel no need to organize actual stuff, I thrive in my organized chaos, those piles on my desk mean something to me)
• Working without deadlines, if there is no deadline for something, I tend to start and never finish, either because I discovered my suckery or just got lazy

...and after all of the above, I still have not ideas, no resolution.  It kind of makes me wish there was a government mandate or a gold star program that would force me to just pick something already.

...or use someone else's imagination.
Last week I stumbled upon SpoonFlower.com, a website where users can get fabric created using their own original designs, or search through the talent of other users and order their designs.  
Since I cannot draw and have never mastered Photoshop, I ordered some samples so I can choose what fabric I want to place an order for:






I love fabric and I love the idea of getting near one of a kind fabric and then creating drapes, pillows, etc. from it to personalize my home.  Some of the fabric designers also have links to sites like Etsy where they sell items they've made with their fabric.